Poker Bat on Deck to Bat at WSOP Riches

The Poker Bat took a vacation.  Wasn’t at the Poker Hospital or the real hospital the Bat was just on leave from blogging.  The Bat can blog in his sleep or so the Bat thinks but every time he lays down to sleep he never blogs.  The Bat knows so many of you loyal, avid, aimless, lecherous, and deceitful readers get amped up for a Bat post so it must have been disappointing to go through the last two weeks without a taste of the Bat to tide you by.  The Bat has been playing Texas Hold em poker online, which should come to no surprise to you, the Bat’s faithful readership, but for the rest of you, the unfaithful, the haters, but those that still read and still badger the Bat with insults, here’s the surprise… the Bat’s been killing it.

Yeah, cry the Bat a river. You think he’s a donk yet all he does is win. The Bat is a one man poker school and you’d be wise to sign up and take lessons. First off, the Bat has been playing some cash games with some big dummies online. They all race to sit down at the Bat’s table and talk about VPIP-PITY split, career EV, and abbreviates the Bat don’t care to read or care about.

All the Bat knows is he’s dropping them as the Bat is on a heater like Jaime Gold at the World Series. You got pocket kings MrSwed1sh the Bat’s got a set of 10s. Eat it Scandi. The Bat’s been amassing cash and gearing up for the two World Series of Poker events that are going to be taking place on the coast. The IP has an event the Bat is going to crash and win, so too Harrahs of New Orleans. Don’t know how many tournaments the Bat will play or if the Bat will just nurse the teet of the cash games, but the Bat will be there.

By the way, question for the IP? Why not move the cash tables into the tournament area and create one huge poker clusterdump during the Circuit Satellite event. Rather than players walking up and down a flight of escalators (even when the Bat’s riding one of those things, the tug of gravity on the Bat’s muffin top makes it feel like work) and trotting half a building to go back and forth put all that in one place. Say a player busts out of a tournament and goes on insta-tilt here’s a cash game for him to join. No need for him to walk for five minutes and talk himself out of it, or to cool off his tilt.

Bat likes players hot and freshly busted. Try to win that entry back on one hand you big dummy. The Bat’s got something for you.

The Harrahs event is part of that big tournament circuit where points are tabulated and it acts a bit like the Nike Tour and then they give away a bracelet for it. Yawn. The Bat’s only interested in one thing, busting players, busting tables, and trying not to bust ass while doing it. Yes, the Bat’s known to have a bit of a flatuation problem, but a little gas ain’t harmful to no one but the guy at the table behind him. You are going to know the Bat tooted because the Bat will be standing up pointing at some other guy and talking about the dead racoon he’s storing in his large intestine. Never admit a fart, that’s one of the Bat’s rules to live by.

Oh yeah, congrats to the guy that co-owns the site, Wild Bill, for chopping that soft as molasses Harrahs weekly tournament he calls the Donkley. It must be a stable of donkeys for that nit to win.  Note to Wild Bill and Gene D:  move the Bat up the Gulf Coast Poker. Net blog list.

Advertisements

PokerBat’s Poker Party Blog

The PokerBat in his size 46 jeans, his size 20 shoes, and his size 71/2 hat made i over the IP Poker Classic.  The Bat obviously has never let his head get too big, but that says nothing about his britches.  The Poker Classic was a fun affair as the Bat always loves a live Texas Holdem game or two. The Bat saw, but declined to talk to many of the bloggers on GCP that seem to get preferential treatment to the Bat.  Perhaps, the Bat simply isn’t good looking enough to get higher placement on the front page.  Will have to email Wild Bill about this at some time.

Clearly, Gene D, Kai Landry, Poker Monkey, Wild Bill, Reid G, all had better things to do than say hi to the Bat.  That’s alright the Bat don’t need other bloggers to feel good about himself, though the Bat did say a couple of those guys on a cash table playing Blind Man’s Bluff.  Don’t mess with Wild Bill in that game.

What did the Bat do?  Well the Bat bubbled several events where the Bat got his money in good and the poker powers that be slapped his hand away like he was child in grandmother’s cookie jar.  The Bat’s favorite hand of the day occured when the Bat held pocket 7s.

The board was three to a flush, the table idiot, and that was a hard position to earn from the seven contenders (eight if you count the dealer) appeared to be on a flush draw.  The Bat had been tearing up the table like he was the Ghost Rider with a flaming school and pimped out Harley, but this guy kept getting lucky on him.  One of the flush cards was lucky 7, or maybe in this case unlucky 7.

The Bat’s set needed a little protecting from Flush Draw McGraw, the dog-faced luckbox enemy who kept taking a bite of the Bat, so the Bat just fired away half his stack.

The Cleveland Browns Superfan lookalike, who might have had the only pair of britches bigger than the Bat’s, rubbed his meaty fingers through what was left of his curly hair.  “Why so much, slim?”  he asked in a Mississippi drawl.

Bat normally don’t take kind to people refering to the Bat’s weight, but as this guy was also a super-heavy the Bat didn’t give it much thought, but calling a fat guy slim is about as amusing as the Fat guy from Borat naked but without the context of Borat.  Which is to say not amusing at all.

“Well, how about I just go all in on you…” he smiled and pushed his chips forward as though the Bat might fold.  Bat eyeballs the stack, and for a mili-second considers a slow-roll but then quickly calls.  Yeah, the fool had a mid-level flush draw.  You know how that one worked out.

Despite taking more hits than the Grateful Dead during intermissions, the Bat enjoyed the event.  The 7:00 pm tournaments probably could have done just a little better giving another 1k in chips, but otherwise the structure was rock solid.  Plenty of play throughout the event and none played like some turbo Online Sit and go poker tournaments.  The Bat has to echo the compliments to Bill Bruce and Jimmy Sommerfeld.

The Bat also picked up the second issue of Gulf Coast Poker Magazine and a XXL T-shirt from the GCP boys.  Guys, some of us are a little bigger than just a double XL.  Next time buy some bigger shirts.  Kudos to those guys for a solid issue and the Bat forsees many more good things from those guys in the future.

What’s the Bat got to do to get a Bat cover?  Bat takes down the Main Event here and at Harrahs is that a possibility?  Bat knows his ugly mug might scare potential readers away but he’s still the future face of poker.