The Bat’s Pet Peeves

These are in reverse order.  It’s a countdown folks but not really.  Depending on the day any of these can be the most annoying when the Bat sits down to play texas hold’em. 

5.  Hygiene.  Pop a breath mint folks.  Brush your teeth twice a day if not more.  Floss, it’s good for your heart too.  Clean your beard, shampoo your hair and bathe.  It’s called a bathroom for a reason.  It’s not called a toilet room.  Bathe frequently.  Clean every nook and cranny, crack and crevice.  If you are going to play online texas holdem  don’t bathe, but when you are going to play texas holdem poker in a casino next to people, talk to them, mouth breathe, and in general bring a funk into a casino, don’t sit next to the Bat.  This can easily be my number one pet peeve.

4.    Taking your sweet time.  Like the look of the cocktail waitress, describing your bluff to your friend, eating at the table, texting somebody, whatever… Put your eyes back on the game.  You are there to play texas hold’em not to socialize.  Keep it moving and give the Bat time to gather all the chips.  Hey, there are no Oscars awarded either so save the Hollywooding for your community theater audience of five.

3.   Angle shooters.  You should be shot.  Nothing more needs to be said.  Your pump fakes, your chip tickles, swearing you are going to bet and not, you folks are scum and in the Bat’s crosshairs.  The Bat’s got a free texas hold’em lesson for you, if you don’t want to be a target at your table or in the parking lot don’t angle shoot.

2.  Mucking out of turn.  It does matter in texas holdem, don’t think that it doesn’t.  It effects how much somebody may bet and rewards an early position player a greater latitude in the range of hands he can play.  Betting out of turn is just as bad, but mucking, especially preflop can set off an avalanche of out of turn actions.  Don’t do it.

1.  The number one pet peeve in texas hold’em poker, one probably shared by many pros alike is the slow roll.  You have a top three or four hand don’t be bashful.  Unless Phil Ivy is lined up across from you, you likely have a winner.  If you get in a staring contest with a guy and it’s your turn to show… show it.  If the other guy shows, don’t grimace or show one card at a time, show them both and move on to the next hand.

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