The Poker Bat Will Attack and You Don’t Want That! II

The Bat has so much good to say about the Brat, he of 11 Texas Holdem bracelets, and his leaving UB why not keep writing about it. You come to see what nugget of genius the Bat has turded onto this blog every week or so, and you care about Phil Hellmuth so the Bat will give his stable of low IQ readers more of what they love. You got another helping of the Bat’s thoughts about the Poker Brat. Look inebriated inbreds that make up the Bat’s readership understand, it can not be awesome reader mail every week, because the Bat has to count on you writing something legible or to figure out how to use your email often another to give the Bat something to answer.

Rumor had it that Philly had a stake in UB, but it’s doubtful any new deal with an established site will give him a piece of the pie.  An up and coming site, sure, but those usually don’t last too long.  As Deliverance Poker and the Mizrachis can tell you.  The Bat has to wonder why Phil, Doyle Brunson and Johnny Chan don’t open a site called 30+ poker. You really want to learn poker from the best?

Not for 30 year olds and over, though it would likely, successfully cater to that sub-group, but the 30+ would signify the number of bracelets they all wield. Doyle has Doyle’s room, and Chan has what All-In Energy Drink? Doyle’s Room is probably giving Doyle a little chunk of change but these three guys banded together are game-changers.

It’s not 2005, but for many older players that will be logging in once the restrictions are gone, poker is Doyle Brunson, Johnny Chan, and Phil Hellmuth. Hell, to those law-abiding or no law but still abiding citizens (and not in a “The Dude Abides” kind of way, in a “there is no law outlawing poker but the older folk will still abide by the law they imagine outlaws poker”) poker stopped in 2005. Amarillo Slim and TJ Cloutier could probably be milked out of the last of their brand value too. Not like they would spurn the offer.

It would kind of be a poker site for those new to computers but old to the game. The 30+ would also take into account that the threesome might still win more bracelets (don’t laugh) so why limit it to how many they have now and have to change the name later. Or if you don’t want to go whole hog and build an entire brand around it, why doesn’t an established site kind of create an legends league for players over 30.

Sure, the Bat’s readers are more interested in popping their face acne then popping into Hellmuth and Brunson’s hypothetical site, but there is probably a group clamoring for it. How many times has the Bat seen some old-timer clunkily look out of place on the virtual felt and in the chatbox as it is. Gotta be some money to made by pooling them all together and they can check every street to their Nittiest contentment.

Then the guys like Doyle, TJ, Phil would have hand again as they’d suddenly be comparatively aggressive. If you build it they will come. Then the question is would youngsters flock to that site because they think they can steamroll it. What a problem to have people flocking to a new poker site to play poker.

Never understood why sites hired winners, why not hire degens that are known to give away money to represent you. Okay, advertisement, this guy is forced to lose his paycheck every Tuesday from 5 to 10. First come, first serve. Seems like the powers that be got it backwards, who wants to play with the Best?  Better to play with the guys that still think they are the best.

Odds and Ends

-Annie Duke is compared to Hitler.  Joan Rivers made the remark in the board room of Celebrity Apprentice.  Rivers then apologized to Hitler via Twitter for comparing him to Duke.

Annie Duke in the same episode bragged about her blow-job prowess.  Wonder if Hitler ever did that.

-Phil Ivy is reported to have dropped a million in Bobby’s room.  So sayeth Doyle Brunson via twitter.

-I need to get a twitter account.  How behind the times is the PokerBat if the wig-set, so old they’ve shed their blue hair, is twittering and I’m not.

-Recently, heard Gavin Smith refuse to call a tweet, a tweet, to him it’s a twit.  To me that makes sense, but did I mention 80 year olds are more cutting edge then me.  So maybe we are the twits.  It’s only a matter of time before I look blankly at a remote control and try and will the TV on with no success.

-Speaking of Gavin Smith, sad news on PokerRoad podcast.  Shronk, a producer on the show, and long time collaborator has passed.  My thoughts are with the gang on PokerRoad.  Joe Sebok blogged about that recently.

-The WPT Championship has started.  My money is on Shannon Shorr with something to prove this year.

-Lady Gaga’s Pokerface song has an explicit meaning.  It’s the look she makes when being with a man and fantasizing about a woman.  Which begs the question what look does she make when she’s with a woman and fantasizing about a man.  Oh?  I’ve just been informed by the most recent of the Mrs. PokerBat’s that doesn’t happen.  I will have to step away from this blog post for a second to confront this.

-I’m back.  Word of warning don’t ask who your partner has fantasized about.  It could surprise you.  Joan Rivers?  Really? 

-I hate big hands too.  This guy’s got a point.

China's Great Wall far longer than thought: surveyThe Great Wall in China is longer than previously thought.  Sure, the desert might have rolled over it and part of it might have been made by non-stone materials, but how do you miss 180 miles of wall? 

-Sometimes the most obvious of information is right in front of you but you chose to ignore it.   If he’s betting like he’s got the nuts–a lot of times he has the nuts.  Whether it is live or online poker sometimes the obvious answer IS the answer.