Poker Bat taking Heat

Okay, so Christian Bale is a polarizing figure and he’s cussing in the gif or jpg or whatever that is on the Bat’s previous post.  Uh, oh  if you hadn’t figured it out yet this Texas Hold’em poker blog is for adults.  Sure the Bat’s comedic stylings are appealing to both young and old, but if you are too young to figure out how to sneak into an R rated movie go somewhere else.  If you are sneaking into pervy movies you can go somewhere else too.  Nobody likes a pervert especially a cheap one, or so the Bat’s wife says anytime they go to the mall together.

Here’s some viewer-mail:

Bat, you bash the SEC do you have gravy for brains?  What team do you support, Centenary?  More like cemetary go take a dirt nap you douschebag and learn how to play poker before you post again.

Phil Luck, Upper Madagascar

Phil, The Bat appreciates you reading the blog.  And Robert Parish is a great American.

Bat, you philistine, gargile, dark-sided, tainted slike-kick, get out of my state.

Marguerrtie, Pontchatoula

Marguerite, is this you?  The Bat thinks he might have had a cup of coffee with you once.

Bat, your posts make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me hate you, they make me love you?  Are you really pushing 4 bills because I think I want your babies.

Trina “Floatda” Turner

Trina, the Bat says you can have his babies.  He’ll ship those freeloading do-nothings to you and pay for the postage and handling.  Bat juniors if you are reading this go get jobs, and get off the computer.

Bat, are you willing to go broke with Ace-King?

Nani, Portugal

Nani, the Bat says AK is your friend.  If you aren’t willing to ship it with that hand you shouldn’t be playing poker.  Last night the Bat was 10 away from the money in a huge multi-table tournament and the Bat raised with Ak offsuit.  A player shoved over the top and it folded back to the Bat.  The Bat was covered.  Easily the Bat could have cruised to the money by folding.  Because it was a rebuy affair, and was 4x the Bat’s investment, some of you gobhoblins would have crawl back into your nit shells and sat on your stacks.  The Bat, don’t play scared ball.  The Bat knew this was a coin-flip, Aces or Kings don’t open shove there, only scared little nit-tards not wanting to go broke with QQ and JJ. 

The Bat insta-called that turducken and saw twin red queens.  Bat makes two pair.  Other doofus gets a set.  See-ya.  Bat will do it two times today and three times on Sunday.  Bat don’t want a min-cash, the Bat is playing to win, folding AK?  In today’s world, where kids will 7bet Arag in the main event?  Come on.  Perpostorous.

Bat, when people say results oriented don’t you just want to run them over with your ‘specially engineered heavy man’s ATV? 

Bat Junior

Junior get off the computer and stay off it.  How you find your way into the Bat’s poker account every night the Bat gets black out drunk at the honkytonk and lose his bankroll requires a deviousness that could actually get you a high paying job in the real world.  Get a job son, and before you say it son, saying you got a career at blockbuster is a bit like saying cruise director on the Titanic is a burgeoning field.  Yes, results oriented is a stupid term. 

Of course, you play to win the tournaments.  You play to win the cash games, you play to win the hands.  At the end of the day, the only scorecard that matters is your bankroll.  Of course, the Bat is results oriented, as opposed to you.  You son are re-sluts oriented.  You parade the same two trashy heifers through the house every other week.  Granted, the fact you are getting some makes the Bat happy, but considering all of Arkansas has ridden one, and Mississippi the other it’s time to find a new cow or two.

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