Wouldn’t you like to know? Who is this mysterious blogger that crushes Texas Holdem poker online and live, obliterates cash games yet slips in and out of the room like a teleporting poker ninja? Of course you want to know. Course if the Poker Bat is a ninja it is of the Chris Farley variety. The Bat hears from one of the fellows over at GCP, that constantly undervalue the Bat’s blogs, that some of the other bloggers are asking who the Bat is. One respected blogger even point blank asked if one of the owners was the Bat? The Bat likes that thought. Maybe the Bat does own a piece of GCP and is actually GeneD or Wild Bill masquerading as a much funnier, more talented, and fatter Tyler Durden version of themselves.
Could that be true? Will one day, one of those two say clearly “I’m (Poker)Batman!” The Bat wonders as he often does, and yes, the Bat not only writes in third person, he thinks in it too, like a young Primetime Deon Sanders, if that day will ever come. The Bat often thinks this thought too “God dang it the Bat is the handsome-ist tree fiddy man that ever walked this here Earth.” Yes, that thought is on repeat.
For now, with speculation rampant that the Bat may not be who the Bat say he is, the Bat would prefer to just let things tide over. One day when the Bat wins some big online poker tournaments he’ll announce himself to the world and that day is coming my friends, coming really soon.
Anyway, the Bat went to the IP and made a cash or two. Not a belly flop splash worthy of drawing attention but enough that some clever detective can start narrowing a list down of possible Batmans. Unless the Bat is lying about his success, something no poker player would ever do. The Bat did play some cash poker and sat with the usual assortment of coastal ne’er do wells, that inspires a looseness of play, and ample opportunity to crush their very thought. These guys bundled in their SEC school of choice matching outfits with hats, sweatshirts, t-shirts, and socks are easy victims for the Bat. Let’s see Mr. Alabama? Do I want to annoy you by telling you how Cam Newton will shred you like Tae-Bo? Will that throw you off your game? Of course it will because you tie your very identity into your football addiction, you desire to be a part of something bigger and greater than yourself is emblazoned on your tacky sweater.
Mr. Auburn, do I want to irritate you to the point of playing bad by casually mentioning your school can’t even buy a national title and despite a payroll that rivals the Yankees you are still second fiddle in your own state? Yes, the Bat will do that because nothing offends an Auburn fan by alerting him to his Beta status. Oh, LSU fan, congrats on not feeling self-conscious wearing Purple and Gold Zoobaz, if our military ever needed that unique clamofloge to infiltrate an enemy we’d know just where to look. Course our enemy would have to be a color blind gay night club. Bat wants to get you to play bad, the Bat will just remind your coach the Mad Hatter, doesn’t have breakfast meetings because he can’t figure out how to work his alarm clock.
Man, the Bat likes an SEC school, but he’s not going to wear it like a billboard and provide instant invitation to be tilted to insanity by merely making fun of some well paid teenagers that can’t read nor write.