The Poker Bat will take a post or two off from complaining. The Bat can’t help but feel a bit like the a whiny 5-year-old so on to something new, which is something old; the Bat slaying his opponents and crushing the Internet. The Bat fires up his computer to play online poker and feels like a pilot of a jet about to launch from an air craft carrier. Get ready for the ride boys because it’s going to be a fun one. The Bat don’t fly with a wingman and even if he did the wingman wouldn’t be able to keep up. His goose would be cooked so to speak (Top Gun reference for those that are movie illiterate–watch it), but the Bat will talk about the dogfight here and you get to read and learn some online poker strategy.
Sorry for the Top Gun reference, the Bat don’t like to quote Tom Cruise movies, Tom Cruise in general, or even refer to that Batpoop crazy Scientologytard but after watching Tropical Thunder Cruise, gets a bit of a pass. Les Grossman is a funny character. That’s a bit like the Bat in real life, a thick man, with more dance moves than a slightly off black Michael Jackson. Slighty off black? Yeah, that’ll put Jacko somewhere in between Thriller and Bad when that guy was at his peak.
Ever seen a large man moonwalk? When the Bat wins his first televised final table that’s exactly what the Bat will be doing. The last time the Bat was online… um about 10 seconds ago the Bat was crushing souls and mindfarting on the faces of the pimpled online elitists that play this game for a career. You want to hear a hero call?
The Bat just made one. In the big blind with Nine Deuce a hand the Bat likes because it can only improve (except when it doesn’t) there are a couple of limpers until the button min-raises. Really? The Bat giggles. The min-raise is a bit like moving the limbo bar down to your shoulders when only midgets are playing. The Bat clicks call quicker than a Gator will eat a Marshmallow on a swamp. Get yourself to the Bayou if you don’t know.
The flop isn’t pretty. The Bat has two flush draws, his deuce is a heart and his Nine is a spade. Neither improved as it came diamond, diamond, club. The Bat wasn’t worried about ranks, none was a face card so the Bat determined to lead out blind. Hmmm… let’s go pot. The other guys in the hand folded like a hammock under an elephant and it was just the button.
The Bat had reckoned a few things about this player. He was smart, aggressive, and a piss-ant. He like to chat it up when he played, and this time he fired out “Look out!” and repopped the Bat. Now, the Bat looked a little closer at the board 765. What to do push and get the idiot out of the hand or let him posture at the pot on the turn and just take it down there? The Bat opted for the slow-bluff (yeah, it’s a new term but feel free to use it) and represent he had a big hand when he bet it on later streets.
The turn came a 10, and the Bat knew his hand was good enough to beat the dreck in the piss-ant’s hand. The Pissant bet again and the Bat continued the slow-bluff with a call. Sure, there were a lot of scare cards that could come on the river but the Bat didn’t care. When an 8 ball hit it was gin city. The kid raised and the Bat shoved. The kid stalled and called with his set of 7s. Pay the Lion! The Bat scooped the pot and exited the table having showed those math geeks how to be the poker.