The Bat hates certain things, and today the Bat is going to take a break from Texas Hold’em online games to talk about some of the things the Bat hates. Now the Bat don’t want to come off like a Poker Brat, because bloggers that just bitch and whine are typically just bitches and whiners. The Bat ain’t neither. That being said here’s the Bat bitching and whining.
Number 10 thing the Bat hates in todays poker game:
Posers– You know who you are. Sitting there chip riffling like you Antonio Esfandiari, sitting there under a hood like you Phil Laak, sitting there chit-chatting away like you Daniel Negreanu, you a fool. When you at a $100 buy-in tournament don’t start acting like you something you not. You are what your buy-in is. If you got staked to play that level tournament you not even that. That Bat says, be who you are, be you, and if you going pose start posing like you the Bat instead of somebody you seen on TV.
What’s next an army of Tom Dwan wannabes. Dressed up like elf vampires in search of some blood to guzzle? Spare the Bat that day (unless of course they look like the elf vampire in the picture: Tami Dwan). Enough with the Phil Hellmuths that are everywhere these days. Who needs another idiot to chastise the herd of idiots that revere the guy. The Bat says Phil Hellmuth can take a walk to the middle of the Gulf and start cleaning up the oil spill by drinking it.
Number 9 thing the Bat hates in today’s poker game:
Fish– Not the players or the wannabe players not the synonym for donkeys but the term Fish and the term donk and the term donkey and the term donkfish and the term lunchbox. When was the last time a fish jumped out the water and ate you? Never. When the Fish can beat the shark like a rented mule it’s time to stop calling them fish. Sure a donkey can kick back, that makes a little more sense, but if you got call a player an animal use donkey, but why they got to be animals? What’s wrong with idiot, moron, buffoon, or Gumpface. Nothing wrong with any of that. Got it Gumpfaces?
Number 8 thing the Bat hate’s in today’s poker game
Dumbass Debates–Bat also don’t like it when people got to criticize the players aka the Fish that can barely get their chips in order and make a bet. Let them be idiots, don’t tell them no different, and why waste the air you breathe to argue of the nuances of a poker point. String raise, min-raise, re-raise, hate raise, pay raise, that’s all dealer only territory. Let the dealer settle it. You think telling a fish why he’s wrong will earn you something then you’re wrong. Let it go.
You think debating whether or not Roger Clemens got as much grief as Barry Bonds did is going to solve any racial problems with your neigbor to the left? That claims otherwise? Who cares who’s right in that debate anyway. How you going to settle it anyway. Who cares about Healthcare at the table? Who cares about any big topic, you are a poker table, care about getting your money to the middle so the Bat can take it. You think you going to solve something at Sit and go poker tournaments? Now, the Bat can recognize when somebody is trying to get under another’s skin to tilt them, but too many times this “sly” maneuver only chases away the guys that are good for the game.
The Bat says agitate outside the casino. Some of these kids should be forced to sit by the doorway until the old timer they were barking at comes outside. At that point age goes out the window, because the Bat knows when the old guy gets the first shot in, it’s usually over.
The Bat’s got more to come later…