This Bat Ain’t No Poker Brat Part II

The Poker Bat was busy talking about his top list of pet peeves and got a very nice response. The Bat had to take a break from online poker games on the world wide web to respond. So the Bat will get back to the top 10 list next week.

Great article/blog! I mostly agree with what you say, with the exception of one point you made. I highly doubt you care but I just thought I’d add my 2 cents. “You are what your buy in is”. I completely disagree. I am a single mother of an 8 year old, and a disabled vet as well. I pray to the poker Gods on a daily basis that I had more than $100 extra to play with. I have made alot of final tables with my best finish a chop for 1st recently. I have no name for myself, but I feel as if I had a bank roll I could and would have a name for myself. People say when I make a decent cash in a tourney I should put it back into a “bank roll fund”. I can not do this as I have bills to pay and a child to feed. I need a break!!! lol ANywho, just wanted to say that just b/c I am at a 1/2 NL tbl or a $100 tourney doesnt mean my skill level is that of the typical poser it simply means I am a struggeling broke single mother Love your article and hopefully my 2 cents doesnt bother you.

The Bat is usually as jaded and awnry as his 501 Levi Jeans are wide, but this letter touched the Bat in his little Bat heart. How that little Bat heart can fuel that big Bat body is a medical miracle. Anyway, the Bat will start backtracking. First off, “You are what your Buy-in is” is a little bit of a harsh statement to make a point.

The Bat is proud, honored, and humbled by American soldiers such as yourself who have sacrificed to keep the Bat and everybody else free. A Vet, even moreso a disabled one, is maybe the most honorable of all statuses in our country (in the Bat’s mind at least). So you obviously are not what your buy-in is as though it were some way to measure an individuals worth. You’re worth more than any buy-in for any Texas Holdem poker game. That includes the Big Game and any game Bill Gates puts down a wad of cash in.

However, in poker the Bat can admit until he starts final tabling 5k and 10k events he should put a sock in the giving lessons at the table, in the chatbox, or at the Bar. The Bat imagines fair reader that you do not carry yourself like those punks at the table that we all know. They act like Annie Duke or Phil Hellmuth but they are not.

We all are getting better and aspire to be great poker players but part of becoming a great player is being humble and recognzing that we have a lot to learn. If we haven’t won enough to buy into bigger events, we aren’t there yet. There are certainly trying times in poker, like the one you face. The Bat knows plenty of great up and coming players, that live out of their bankroll in a precarious dance every month. They have to pay bills, but because they pay bills they can’t afford to move up in stakes. And in effect, they are trapped at the level they are at, as it sounds like you are too.

The Bat sympathizes. Though the Bat is pretty certain you already carry yourself like a player at bigger stakes. You probably aren’t critical of your opponents or a table know it all. The know it all role for what it is worth is already filled. The Bat knows all. Next week, the Bat goes back to his same old dickish schtick. No more heart warming comments, the Bat is unfamilar with these postive emotions.

The Poker Bat Ain’t No Poker Brat

The Bat hates certain things, and today the Bat is going to take a break from Texas Hold’em online games to talk about some of the things the Bat hates. Now the Bat don’t want to come off like a Poker Brat, because bloggers that just bitch and whine are typically just bitches and whiners. The Bat ain’t neither. That being said here’s the Bat bitching and whining.

Number 10 thing the Bat hates in todays poker game:

Posers– You know who you are. Sitting there chip riffling like you Antonio Esfandiari, sitting there under a hood like you Phil Laak, sitting there chit-chatting away like you Daniel Negreanu, you a fool. When you at a $100 buy-in tournament don’t start acting like you something you not. You are what your buy-in is. If you got staked to play that level tournament you not even that. That Bat says, be who you are, be you, and if you going pose start posing like you the Bat instead of somebody you seen on TV.

What’s next an army of Tom Dwan wannabes. Dressed up like elf vampires in search of some blood to guzzle? Spare the Bat that day (unless of course they look like the elf vampire in the picture: Tami Dwan). Enough with the Phil Hellmuths that are everywhere these days. Who needs another idiot to chastise the herd of idiots that revere the guy. The Bat says Phil Hellmuth can take a walk to the middle of the Gulf and start cleaning up the oil spill by drinking it.

Number 9 thing the Bat hates in today’s poker game:

Fish– Not the players or the wannabe players not the synonym for donkeys but the term Fish and the term donk and the term donkey and the term donkfish and the term lunchbox. When was the last time a fish jumped out the water and ate you? Never. When the Fish can beat the shark like a rented mule it’s time to stop calling them fish. Sure a donkey can kick back, that makes a little more sense, but if you got call a player an animal use donkey, but why they got to be animals? What’s wrong with idiot, moron, buffoon, or Gumpface. Nothing wrong with any of that. Got it Gumpfaces?

Number 8 thing the Bat hate’s in today’s poker game

Dumbass Debates–Bat also don’t like it when people got to criticize the players aka the Fish that can barely get their chips in order and make a bet. Let them be idiots, don’t tell them no different, and why waste the air you breathe to argue of the nuances of a poker point. String raise, min-raise, re-raise, hate raise, pay raise, that’s all dealer only territory. Let the dealer settle it. You think telling a fish why he’s wrong will earn you something then you’re wrong. Let it go.

You think debating whether or not Roger Clemens got as much grief as Barry Bonds did is going to solve any racial problems with your neigbor to the left? That claims otherwise? Who cares who’s right in that debate anyway. How you going to settle it anyway. Who cares about Healthcare at the table? Who cares about any big topic, you are a poker table, care about getting your money to the middle so the Bat can take it. You think you going to solve something at Sit and go poker tournaments? Now, the Bat can recognize when somebody is trying to get under another’s skin to tilt them, but too many times this “sly” maneuver only chases away the guys that are good for the game.

The Bat says agitate outside the casino. Some of these kids should be forced to sit by the doorway until the old timer they were barking at comes outside. At that point age goes out the window, because the Bat knows when the old guy gets the first shot in, it’s usually over.

The Bat’s got more to come later…