This week the Bat will take some time off from talking about how he likes to play online poker. The Bat hasn’t been able to play poker of any sort with all the fishing he’s been doing and the hunting of the indoor variety but when the Bat does play poker online he’ll give you an update… more than just the hand histories one of the owners of GCP.Net put on his blog. Did you see they finally moved the guy from Northern Louisianan up in the rankings. Anyway instead of online poker play the Bat presents his mailbag which has swollen of late. The Bat has a lot of fans but concedes one or two of these names may not be real.
Dear Pokerbat: I recently found your blog. I regret it. Sincerely, Man with whole brain.
Dear Man with whole brain: The Bat says that’s understandable this material is for half-brains and half-wits, harebrains and dimwits, lamebrains and nitwits. You may be more interested in the fare served at Eskimo Clark’s blog “Cold Decked in the 2000s” or the ever popular Doug Lee’s strategy sheet “Did You know the D was silent? Confessions of a poker tool”
Dear Pokerbat: I recently found your blog. I wanted to ask you what your real picture looks like? -Woman advocating the return of Cane (sugar to sodas).
Dear Woman advocating the return of Cane: My picture looks like most pictures a white back, depending on the stock or the printer with a sheen or without. The front has a colored (or a black and white) image of the Bat on it. That’s not what you meant is it? The Bat is devastatingly handsome. The Bat devastates too. Did the Bat mention he’s handsome. And by the way, the Bat loves your cause. Did you know new coke was just the world’s greatest con to trick Coke drinkers into drinking a product made from corn syrup instead of cane sugar.
Dear Pokerbat: I’ve noticed your mailbag has little to do with poker so far. -Man with two brains.
Dear Man with two brains: The Bat loved Steve Martin in you. You are right the poker talk has been limited. The Bat will get right on that.
Dear Pokerbat: I have problems with big pairs. -Woman with black eyes and knee pain.
Dear Woman with black eyes and knee pain: Big pairs? The Bat assumes you jog a lot because of your injuries. Okay, The Bat said the Bat would get back to poker. Remember big pairs is a good starting hand and only that. Playing them can be a handful if you don’t pay attention to the complexion of the flop. You want to price out the chasers and not get married to the first big pair you get. That is also a good rule in life.
Dear Pokerbat: I played with you online. You said you watch Survivor who do you think will win? Man who thinks people who sign emails with Man or Woman followed by a description is inane.
Dear Man… inane: I do enjoy Surivor. Boston Rob who is a local tournament poker player has started off strong. Hard not to root for him or Russell from Houston. Strange thing is the grave digger from Louisiana seems like he’s on a roid rage (guess he didn’t get that figure digging graves) and he is just one of the “heroes” throwing away their reputation by behaving like the villains. Also included are the kid from Mississippi and the Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream school dropout Rupert who both have a little snake in them. The Bat is stunned Russell hasn’t already found an immunity idol and likes the Texan to win, but suspects somebody not getting much camera time will find away to be there in the end by laying low with all those alphas.
Dear Poker Bat: You aren’t funny. You talk in third person like you think you are T.O. or somebody and you probably suck moose ass as a poker player. Somebody should take a ginzu knife to your kidneys. Go find an animal hoarder and roll on their floor you goat choate.-Your fan.
Dear fan: I know who you are. Stop the hating, Mom. I told you to stop reading my blog.