Not sure if the Chinese calendar has a year of the Bat, but it should, because this is the year of the Bat. The Bat will set the poker and gambling world afire by winning WPT and WSOP events. The Bat saw Wild Bill’s Resolutions/Proclamations for poker success this year and the Bat thinks the kid is setting the bar way too low. Well, way too low for the Bat, might not be too low for the Wild one but using those paltry goals as inspiration here’s what the Bat thinks his GCP brethern should use as resolutions:
Reid G. Win a major online tournament. The guy is crafty, you can tell by reading his blog he puts a lot of thought into the game, though maybe he should take a step back and live in the moment a little more. Too much schooling makes a street-smart kid smart but not street. Reid continue to play your online poker tournaments, build your bankroll, and crush it like we know you can, play poker tournaments online every day, every night, keep crushing it, go up to bigger and bigger events, play online poker like its your job because it is, execute proper bankroll management and enjoy that Sunday Millions title.
The Monkey. Mend fences, stop throwing monkey feces at every casino like a petulant orangutans, and go back to winning tournaments. While we are in the farm, donkeys don’t need to be reminded they are donkeys. And structures aren’t great unless an occasional donkey can’t get deep. Why not? If they aren’t fooled into thinking their luck is skill they won’t return. Poker’s life blood is people with misconceptions of the poker skills. Monkey you have it, but don’t get so mad when the idiots win. If the final table is only a club for good players why would all the knuckle draggers play? So sayeth the Bat.
Gene D… Stop with the periods… you have more of them then my Nanan… who never went through menopause and is still popping out cuz’ns at… 90. Keep grinding you are a machine. The Bat enjoys your writing and appreciates you allow the Bat to post on GCP.Net. This is the year… GeneD… gets his biggest score of his life.
The Honest Poker Player. Stop lying to yourself. No poker player is honest. Stop lying to your readers, call yourself the mostly honest poker player.
Kai Landry’s sexy poker blog is a no holds barred, eye-gouge and bean bag twisting look at poker. That guy can write and can play. Kai, resolve to stop relying on the casino to supply your whipped creme. That’s your prop and your future endorsement. Bring back more whipped creme. Why (eyebrow arched), because the Bat sez so.
SouthpawRounder write a blog post once a year. The clock just flipped, it’s time. The Mayans say the world is going to end by 2012 let’s at least get one blog post by then. Your readership will thank you.
Tiltin’ Texan way to beat the big C. Why the folks at GCP.Net haven’t started a charity tournament in your honor is beyond the Bat, those bastards. What’s the resolution for you TT? Keep grinding, keep fighting, and take the same attitude you had in licking cancer to licking poker. And slowroll often.
Pobody’s Nerfect. Terfect Pitle but The Bat could have told you that. The bat once saw the hottest girl in school without her make up and thought she was her brother. Come to think of it, the Bat never saw the two of them together. The guy looked like Dustin Hoffman the girl like Tootsie. The Bat’s definition of beauty may be different than yours.
Jonathan Little. Win the NBC Heads Up poker tournament and get your boy Shannon Shorr an invite this year. Don’t dare lock horns with the Bat, the Bat might leave your wallet 30 or 40 dollars lighter.
Goondingy–Your poker skills are rusty. Get the rust off, get out the house and into the card room. The bat wants to see you three racks deep in chips again.
Virge–Be careful in Asia. They don’t like to gamble over there. Don’t be such a nit.
Jena Delk–resolve to hang out with a better class of people than the GCP.Netters your are too elegant for us.
Brandon Jarrett– The Bat sez it’s time to get your name out there, hustle a little bit kid, make this the year of the BJ. Well, the second year of the BJ, the first year of the BJ was right before the Bat got married and it’s been downhill ever since. See Jena, the Bat told you not to hang out round ‘chere.
Austin Martin, Shoats, Da Rock– See Southpawrounder’s resolution. Update your blogs more regularly. Do it. All three of you also change your pictures ASAP.